update

Mother in law still in the hospital but seems a little better. At least she is not afraid. She thought that she won a tennis tournament at 102 years old.


We are told that it might be better to place her in an Alzheimers facility sooner than later as they will not take her at all if she progresses to agressive behavior. She was kicking the nurses so I don't know what is going to happen. This is brand new territory for us.

Beth called my husband. She said that she will finish there soon. She is going to stay with a friend from her current facility and wait for a long term free program there in Del Ray. Her dad sent her another cell phone. Now, I will not know where she is once again.

She has told me the same thing several times. Let me come to your house while I am waiting to get into a long term program. Then, she does not go.

I sent her email with all the options that I would pay for so she can get into a long term program right away but that is not her choice. She has not wanted to talk to me as she has not answered phone calls or email.

Here we go again! I am trying to give her over to God and feel calm in the middle of this hurricane that is Beth's life. I know now that I can not make her do anything. Her dad said to her..."Glad you are going to a long term program. Call me when you are all signed up cause we really can't have a relationship with you while these drugs are involved.

I am powerless but I do not like powerless.

HOspice nurse snow bound too!

Our family doctor acted fast to help with my mother in laws extreme paranoia .  He knows that she has dementia and this is in no way her normal behavior. He arranged for the hospice nurse to do an evaluation today. Only problem was that the hospice nurse could not get out of her driveway!

Anyhow, she calmed down some as the day wore on and we finally got her admitted to the local hospital for an evaluation. Seems as though her mental status changed so fast they have to rule out things like stroke before they can sedate her or put her on antipsychotics.  The good thing was that Elsie was never afraid of her family. So she got some comfort from our presence. Her fears were of strangers who were in the house and the nurse's aide.

She was also happy to stay in the hospital. They kept her overnight and are running tests. We cautioned them that the morning is her worst time.

It turns out that the ER doc was a flying buddy of my Dad's and the ER nurse was a former student of mine. She said she uses a lot of the Spanish that I taught her. I was glad to see her and comfortable leaving my  baby (Hubby's mom is our baby now)  with her.

Elder Drama

In the middle of the snow bound day my dear mother in law took a turn for the worse with an extreme bout of dimentia.

She was extremely agitated. She thought that her nurse's aide was trying to kill her and that she had been raped in the middle of the night. She settles down for a few minutes at a time but then returns to yelling, anxious, fearful behavior. She said she was looking for a gun to kill herself.

We are now waiting for the hospice nurse to give her an evaluation to get her to an inpatient hospice unit. She is too much right now for the aide or for us to handle. If that does not work out we will have to call 911 and take her to the hospital. That is inferior as she will wait and wait. Our local hospital is not a big city hospital.

She tried to throw hot coffee at my husband. That really upset him as his mother is such a gentle soul.

Youngest Daughter took the day off work and is sitting with mother in law and caretaker.

Husband is clearing the snow with a couple of guys who knocked on the door. He keeps going back and forth to his mom's house.

I have called 3 doctors, the psych unit, and several friends in medicine before being able to start to get the ball rolling. If i don't hear back from hospice in half an hour I will have to call the doctor once again.

Snow Bound

We are up to our knees in snow!  The cars are totally covered. The mall was closed, the theaters were closed and church is closed tommorrow.

I made a big batch of chile, did the laundry and got into a cleaning frenzy. Bitty bundle(youngest daughter) and I just watched a  movie . We talked about it at length. Oh the glory of having a child who is majoring in English!

Hubby has a bad sinus infection. He slept most of the day. Hope he is not up all night! I always figure if someone is sick just let them sleep it out.

As Good as It Gets

Beth has not talked to me for more than a week. However, I do know that she is still at the treatment center. At least she will not overdose or get beat up there. Her father just told me that she called him earlier leaving a message that was nearly unintelligible. He tried to call back but they had taken all the addicts out to a park.




Soooo, her dad still cares enough to call  her, she is not talking to me and she is relativey safe. That is as good as it gets or as good as it has been in the last 8 years.

Today's gratitudes.

I watched the snow fall silentlly, beautifully catching a few flakes with my tongue like a child.

I am able to start my days slowly, easing into them with a cup of coffee and a review of correspondence.

Usually do not have to deal with people problems until 10 or 10 :30.

Most (not all) of my people problems at work are either easy to solve or not solvable but I know the ones that can't be solved by now and do not waste my time.

My youngest daughter enjoys my humor. She likes to spend time with her parents.

My son is realizing from being around his girlfriend's parents that we were not the strictest parents in the world. He realizes that we cut him a break or two.

My sisters and I are good friends. Had lunch with Laura today. It is a blessing to be friends with your sisters.

Marital Discord

     Hubby pisses me off. He says  he is not willing to give Beth a cent. Even if she finishes up this new stint of rehab. Even is she asks for more time in this rehab or another longer one. He is done and he thinks that I should be done too.


He believes that she is not trying at all or not trying hard enough. He wants to cut his losses and move on.


I have doubt that she is trying her best but I am not in her head and do not really know. If I start to hold her responsible for all her choices I will probably hold him responsible as well. He is a long term diabetic that only just recently started to control his sugar. He has many severe health problems now due to his refusal to help himself.

On the other hand the frustration that he has caused me is small compared to the horrors of addiction. It seems that most things in life are small compared to the horrors of addiction.

I talked to Beth's counselor today. He said he is trying to get her into a 6 month free program. Praise the lord, I hope it works. The mere point that he is willing to say that to her astounds me. He is the first.

I called because hubbys attitude has gone south. Beth has not called nor responded to my phone calls since the last time. I e-mailed her about two programs that I would be willing to support. They are both long term and cost about 3000.00 per month. She would be 100 percent inpatient and supervised in either place.

I am just so mad at him but I also know that I have been in his position before when she has done things that shocked and revulsed me. I have said in the past and meant it and followed through with it.......either get treatment or stay out of my life. Actually what I said was get long term treatment. What she did was get short term treatment. I started communicating again with her when she got the short term treatment so here we are again.

Opinions are welcomed. I know that my thinking is unclear and convoluted.

Gratitude

I had a boring weekend!  No crises involved.

My knees feel good again.

I hear birds singing when I wake up.

My house is cozy.

My youngest daughter transferred to a University. She is on her way to a professional carreer.