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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Life Goes ON

I have not posted since my mother in law's funeral. Beth attended the services. She wore a black suit with a long sleeved white collared shirt. Her hair was in an up-sweep and she conducted herself very well. It was a glimpse of her normal side.

She has been on and off of heroine several times since then. She helped a dying woman get into hospice and continued to visit her at the nursing home till the end. She took in another man who was on his last legs. He became psychotic and threatened to kill her. Actually, he cried and said that he loved her but that he was thinking , obsessing about killing her. She took him to the psych ward. They told her the cancer probably took over his brain.

We are invited to a big family wedding at the end of the month. I told Beth that I did not want to exclude her but I can not take the chance of getting picked up with heroine in my car. (It is a 6 hour trip to the wedding.) She said that she will just stay home so as not to be a burden. I said that she could detox once again and I would hold her suboxone for the course of the weekend. She said she would think about it.

The conversation went well but I do dread her reaction to th event. She usually gts involved in some huge self destructive event when left out of something. In any event I can not risk my pension and the legal remifications of her getting caught with the big H on this trip. Of course, this is not to mntion th bizarre behavior that could and probably would happen as well.

My sister has been very ill, almost died but is on th mend now. I did retire from my job and do not intend to pursue other paid employment until the winter. I want to devote time to my father, sister and myself for awhile.


  1. Anna, so much has happened to you this year. You have handled it with dignity, and deal with Beth in a healthy way.

    Not working absolutely helps deal with the many stressors in your life. Glad that you could make that decision.

  2. Thanks for the complement Lou.

    I am so glad that you are blogging again and that your boy is doing so well. It gives me hope as he was a low bottom addict just like my girl.

    I read in Victor Frankel that we can give meaning to horrendous inescapable suferring by handling it with dignity. I have really tried to do that so appreciate your use of this word.