I just talked with the couselor at the treatment center. Her 30 days are just about out. In spite of promises from the addict, treatment center and the insurance company..........out she goes in 30 days.
It is soooo frustrating. I know she needs more time. She has a boyfriend lined up again and is chomping at the bit to get out again. I have done this so many times. I am angry, frustrated and scared to death.
20 some days ago she was almost dead from heroine, crack, getting beat up by a dealer and then getting beat up again by her boyfriend. She promised me she would go to a long term center if I could just get her in someplace on Thanksgiving day. I did. The center promised to encouragae her to go to Phoenix house which is long term. They did not keep their promise. Neither did the addict. Eventhough they advertise as 90 days there is no one there for more than 30 except one guy who is court ordered for 6 months.
I sounded like a bitch on the phone and then I cried my eyes out. I don't want her to die, I don't wnat her to jerk me around, I want so much to believe that it is all true but I just don't anymore.
I said I would not answer the phone if she leaves the halfway house that I just put 10000 dollars out for with the new boyfriend that she denies is the boyfriend.
The addict is my 24 year old daughter, Beth. She is bipolar with PTSD from a gang rape. She was beautiful, she was adored, she was talented, smart and good in everything she did. I still do not know how we came to this.
Alanon tells me to let go. The mental health advocates (NAMI) tells me to hang on.
Stream of thoughts....
4 days ago