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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Post Operative Blues

DH went in for an emergency hemoroidectomy on Tuesday. We thought that it would be a minor procedure. As it turned out he had to go back to the hospital several times as he was unable to urinate or have bowel movements. Eventhough he is very close to dialysis and has both high blood pressure and diabetes they just sent him home. I had to pick up some practical nursing skills fast!  He was not steady on his feet, hooked up to a catheter and in severe pain. His blood pressure went up and his sugar went down, he dehydrated in spite of all the fluids he was drinking. All in all it has been a miserable 6 days. At last, he seems to be getting some of his strength back and can get himself in and out of bed, to the bathroom etc. etc.

They sent him home before he had been able to urinate. Why are hospitals suddenly refusing to let very sick people stay? My sister got the same treatment recently. She is a heart patient that presented with severe angina caused from a misfiring thyroid. They sent her home and it took another two and a half months to deal with all of her problems on an outpatient basis. We all supposedly have good insurance!

Beth has declared herself clean for two months. I see no evidence of any truth to this story. She is pressuring me to use her money to buy her another car. This is a no win situation. When I think about releasing the money for that car, I see the mangled wreck she made of the last one. I do not want to put her in a death trap. I told her that she would have to be in a program and provide proof of sobriety for 90 days in order for me to release the money. I also told her to get a different rep payee as I do not want to do it anymore with her badgering me. She just sent me a text saying that she is loosing her mental stability from so much isolation. ( The large quantities of crack and heroine that she still injests have nothing to do with this mental instability.)

I really am very tired from caregiving 24/7 for the last week. My own acid reflux is making it hard to sleep. The neighbors have told me that they saw Beth walking in the worst drug area of our city. I have been literally cleaning up shit all week. Beth knows this but continues to badger. I turned off the phone for my own sanity but that makes me feel a different sort of anxiousness. I must toughen up and remember to see the good in the rest of my life.

My other two children have helped me a lot doing errands and cleaning up the kitchen. My sister and father have visited and lent a hand. I am greatful for them. In spite of all this misery, my husband and I have had some very sweet moments. He has an amazing ability to make me laugh even in such dire circumstances. Thank God for that.

We were supposed to go on a trip to PR this Saturday. We might still go if he gets the catheter out and is able to uriniate on Tuesday. It all depends on how he feels. We do not have to tour around. We could just lie in the sun and relax at the resort if he feels a little better.

On a more positive note when I was cleaning shit, I asked myself if I would rather do this or go back to work in the den of vipers. The answer is that I would much rather help my husband even if that means cleaning shit. As my Dad says about plumbing work........."there is shit work in every job but with plumbing you always know where the shit is coming from."


  1. That you find humor, hope, and compassion in all this says so much about you as a person.
    I pray it eases up, and the two of you have a chance to get away.

    PS I agree on the car. How will she pay for gas, insurance, maintenance? Hmmm..don't answer that;(

  2. Oh Anna...on it goes huh. You know that I am professional shit wiper upper. If I only lived closer. ;o)

    You are an amazing woman. I know you probably don't see it that, but from out here looking are. I also agree on the car and think your requirements are a stroke of genius.

  3. I am glad that your husband is doing well. I can say that taking care of others does get old. It seems like a good idea to not rush off to get a car for Beth. Take care!