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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Good Day By The Grace of God

Thank you for your kind support and comments on my last post. In spite of the fact that I was having a hard time sleeping last night, today was a good day. My son stayed with my husband all morning while I went to the university to teach my classes. The students and the atmosphere at the university just make me happy. It is a fantasy world of hope and youthful enthusiasms. I am so fortunate to have students that share my interests. I get a vicarious thrill by hearing about their adventures learning Spanish. One student is going to El Salvador with the engineering department to act as a translator in January. Another, spent the summer in Alicante Spain and yet another biked through Europe staying at youth hostels.

These kids are such a miracle of health, hard work and wonder. They are learning so much so quickly that it amazes me. I should have done this for my entire career but taught high school and then went into administration instead. The teaching part was very enjoyable but the administration part was shall we say anticlimactic.............

My son stayed with my husband all morning. DH said that DS was very kind and thoughtful. He has promised to look for another job after the xmas rush. He also insists that he will donate a kidney to his Dad. He says that he is better suited than me as he is younger and stronger. So..... one day we despair of him every taking any real responsibility in life and then he turns around to offer his kidney, take good nitty gritty personal hygiene  type care of his father. He also told me that he keeps throwing away offers for credit cards because he knows that he can not handle them.

This evening when DD2 came in she sat down to chat with her Dad and hold his hand for awhile. Then, she asked me to come and sing with her. I mostly listened. She has a beautiful alto voice. This is what I thought my life would be like..... filled with music, laughter, love and work that I enjoy. Well there are moments. Thank God for the moments. In Spanish they say that many people miss the moments of happiness in life while waiting for a state of complete contentment to arrive. (It sounds more poetic in Spanish but you get the point.)

Beth found her ride to the suboxone Dr. today. Imagine that! She acted like we had never had any words yesterday. I have every confidence in her being able to find transportation anyplace she wants to go.



4 comments:

  1. Resourceful..that is the "nicest" way I can describe an addict. They ALWAYS figure it out when they want to.

    Andrew (when sober) is truly the nicest person. He would clean my shit also. My PhD daughter on the other hand.. she would put me in a nursing home in a minute. My point is, the one we often consider lazy, etc, is often the compassionate one.

    People continue to surprise me. I pray Beth surprises the hell out of all of us.

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  2. I like to think that alcoholics can find a way to get to a bar no matter what or to get a drink no matter what. When sober, they can find their way also. Your son and daughter sound awesome. Donating a kidney is a gift of love. Beth will get there as well in God's time.

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  3. Every now and then we have those moments that show us what could have been, or what still might be at a later date. I know that feeling Anna. You know Molly has often told me that if she was in any sort of real trouble, emotionally or physically, her sister is the first person she would call, because she said, "I know she would get it and she couldn't judge. She would just come and stand with me and help hold me up." I often think that H will be the one kid who comes through when we are old too. They do have compassionate and humble hearts,our kids who struggle. Bless your son. An incredible offer.

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  4. When I read your last post, I wasn't sure I could comment, as you have so much on your plate and I can't imagine any words of encouragement I could offer you.
    I am humbled and amazed at your positive attitude and the fact you can find some good in your situation.
    Keep doing what you are doing, it's working!
    Thoughts and prayers are with you! Kelly

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