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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Lunch with Birth Mom

Did I mention that I was recently contacted by Beth's birth mother?  She contacted me on facebook to say that she would like to make contact with Beth. She also thanked me for helping her out so many years ago. She did not seem to know anything about the problems that Beth has had though she still has family in this town.  I asked Beth if she wanted me to give her birth mother her number.  Beth said she wanted to talk to this woman but she did not want to hurt me. I said, I hope that it will be healing for the both of you. They talked the same day.

Linda will be in our town for the next several days and Beth wants us to have lunch together. I said yes as I remember her well. She was a sweet, young 13 year old girl who was just about to have a baby when she appeared in my classroom one day. I remembered her as I had taught her the year before when she moved away in the middle of the semester. Someone had told her I wanted to adopt a baby. That is why she came looking for me. I said yes but set up a time to meet with her and her mother along with my husband that night. When we arrived there was no one home. She was in the hospital giving birth to Beth. We took Beth home from the hospital 2 days later. It was Christmas Eve.

I think I should give Linda some pictures of Beth as she was growing up. The last time I looked at these pictures I got so depressed and cried so much that I stayed in bed all day so I might not go back over them. I told Beth to pick out a few for her but she did not do it. I have decided that it is Beth's decision how much she does or does not tell her birth mother. Typically, she tells people too fast about both her mental illness and her drug dependency days.

Beth always felt abandoned by her birth family. I hope this situation allows for healing for them without causing alienation for us. Linda sounds fine other than imagining that Beth had a fairy tale life. Pray for us in this touchy situation. We are hoping for the best.


  1. That's a lot of heavy stuff to go thru and my thoughts and prayers are with all of you , that your meeting with Linda is healing for everyone. Let us know how it went. Hugs, Kelly

  2. My prayers are with you all too. Wow. I'll definitely pray that the outcome of the lunch & week is positive for all of you.
    God bless.
    Love & hugs!