I talked to a Judge today about drug court for Beth. She could be sentenced to attend but that would not be backed up by the threat of imprisonment because her crimes do not merit prison time. So, that was just another false hope.
We say that we must have hope but when there really is no hope the false hope just seems to add to the pain. I am happy for all of you that have seen progress or at least a break from the addictive behaviors. My girl has not had a week off drugs in several years.The only time I recognize her is when she impersonates her old self for a few minutes because she is trying to get my sympathy which quickly leads to a plea for money.
I have an affection for all of you and I wish you the best regardless of what happens with your children. Thanks for sharing your heartaches and hopes with me. I will continue to read but do not plan to add to my own blog for awhile.
We say that we must have hope but when there really is no hope the false hope just seems to add to the pain. I am happy for all of you that have seen progress or at least a break from the addictive behaviors. My girl has not had a week off drugs in several years.The only time I recognize her is when she impersonates her old self for a few minutes because she is trying to get my sympathy which quickly leads to a plea for money.
I have an affection for all of you and I wish you the best regardless of what happens with your children. Thanks for sharing your heartaches and hopes with me. I will continue to read but do not plan to add to my own blog for awhile.
I'm just a blog reader who feels such empathy for you. You and your daughter are in my prayers. Take care.
ReplyDeleteShelley in SK
Anna, it helps to write it down, I wish you would continue when the mood strikes.
ReplyDeleteI understand about Beth's clarity after so many years without a break from drugging. I know you hoped for an enforced break. Andrew had many "court mandated" breaks in using, and in retrospect that helped a great deal. Two years of completely clean prison time made a huge difference in his thinking. Even with the relapses, he catches himself quicker because of those times.
I truly pray for Beth. No human should live her life of sickness in this addiction. I feel for her, what terrible pain is inside her that she chooses to go on this way? My thoughts are with you also. You can be at peace with all you tried to do. You are a kind, caring soul and a beautiful mother.
Anna,
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from totally! You are soooo very happy for all those that are doing well , yet see no light at the end of your own tunnel... and sometimes that hurts in ways we don't expect. I am so sorry you have not gotten a break... and if you think about it, you have one of the most stressful years anyone I know I has had! And yet, you remain so positive. I for one, learn from your writing, by all means, take a break if you need it, but remember there is always someone learning from you... and it helps us.
BTW, please email me if you want the name of the place or places I know of that are long term and free. HUGS! Kelly ( kelrish@aol.com)
I am so sorry to
ReplyDeleteI know how what a terrible feeling it is to be happy for those who have children that are currently in recovery when your child is not. I know that we were lucky that b got drug court. I don't know if it will work for him but I am learning to stand back and that is hard because there are so many red flags and I have lost count at his attempts of sobriety.
Your family remains in my prayers.
Oh Anna, I know what you mean about hope. I refuse to give up hope, but somewhere deep inside, I wonder if its silly to keep hoping. But I will, and you will too when you are having a better day. Its the pain and heartache that is so unfair to us.
ReplyDeleteI hope you keep writing. Like Lou said, it helps. Even is you don't write about Beth, please write about you.
Rehab centers recovery assistance may help your daughter who's struggling with drug addiction.
ReplyDelete