We had a nice weekend here. My youngest healthy daughter was home for the weekend. She works with severely handicapped children and really has a heart for it.
We hung out on Friday night when her cousins and aunts and uncles came to my house to see her. I did feel a little guilty not incuding Beth. Lately, I have only been asking her on high holidays. Also, I had spent a good part of Friday grocery shopping with Beth and emotionally it was all I could take. If she had called or someone had asked for her it might have been different.
On Sat DD2 had a wedding to attend so I surprised her by doing all of her laundry. She was delighted to see it and exclaimed that she had been doing it on her own since the age of 10. This is true but I was so greatful for the domestic tranquility that I actually enjoyed it.
Thank you readers for letting me know that many of you mothers of addicts still cry every day even after many many years. It made me feel less out of control to know that other mothers with productive lives also react this way so frequently.
One strategy I picked up in an Alanon book to help ground yourself in the present is to describe what you are doing while you are doing it in your own head. Ex: I am writing in my blog. I am doing the dishes. Next, I will start the laundry. etc. etc.
I know this sounds strange but it has really helped me when I start worrying about what will happen or replaying sad scenes from the past. That is why I am sharing it now. I hope it will help some of you when you get pulled in different directions. The concerns of one day are more than enough for that day!
We hung out on Friday night when her cousins and aunts and uncles came to my house to see her. I did feel a little guilty not incuding Beth. Lately, I have only been asking her on high holidays. Also, I had spent a good part of Friday grocery shopping with Beth and emotionally it was all I could take. If she had called or someone had asked for her it might have been different.
On Sat DD2 had a wedding to attend so I surprised her by doing all of her laundry. She was delighted to see it and exclaimed that she had been doing it on her own since the age of 10. This is true but I was so greatful for the domestic tranquility that I actually enjoyed it.
Thank you readers for letting me know that many of you mothers of addicts still cry every day even after many many years. It made me feel less out of control to know that other mothers with productive lives also react this way so frequently.
One strategy I picked up in an Alanon book to help ground yourself in the present is to describe what you are doing while you are doing it in your own head. Ex: I am writing in my blog. I am doing the dishes. Next, I will start the laundry. etc. etc.
I know this sounds strange but it has really helped me when I start worrying about what will happen or replaying sad scenes from the past. That is why I am sharing it now. I hope it will help some of you when you get pulled in different directions. The concerns of one day are more than enough for that day!
I am so glad you are back to blogging. <3 :o)
ReplyDeleteThanks Annette. I always get so much from your posts.
ReplyDeleteAnna, a good idea about focusing on the present. And I find that if I say the Serenity Prayer over and over, it keeps me from obsessing and worrying so that I am more relaxed and peaceful.
ReplyDelete