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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

What Boundaries?

As you may remember from the last post, I was just starting to feel guilty for putting some space between me and the addict in my life when she called to shake me down for 10 dollars.  It turns out that she also asked my sister for 5 for cat food. My sister was to sick to go out for cat food so she said no. She knows better than to give money.

My sister is having trouble her son who is a functioning addict on alcohol,marijuana and Percocet.  He was sick with diarrhea and got excrement all over the bathroom. Then he halfway cleaned it up with dish towels that he threw in the yard. When my sisters boyfriend told him to clean it up or say that he was to sick and then the boyfriend would clean it up S proceeded to smear the mess onto the windows and try to get it on the boyfriend.

I was so shocked by this story that I could hardly respond. I did say that it was worse than the stuff that he did before when she had to get a restraining order against him. They did not speak for A year previously when he was throwing things at her and physically holding her back from leaving the house.  He also had wild part.ies in her house,sex in her bed and left dirty condoms on the floor.

My sister is a good hardworking and compassionate woman. Where are her boundaries? I fear for her physical and mental safety. She is 50 years old and has a bad heart. Her boy is 26 years old. He has a car and a job .

Tommorrow I will call and give my opinion. This is abuse. He must leave the house or she must accept being his slave. She has given him many chances. He does not have a drug problem according to him.

I feel particularly unqualified to give advice but whatever my nephews reasons for acting this way it is intolerable and creates a health hazard for my sister who has a bad heart.

Would you still love your son if he tried to smear Shit on you?    I think it is time for creating distance.      


  1. I might still love him, but I would hate his actions and get him out of my house. Shit can come in many ways--the emotional and the actual physical kind. It all hurts and causes people who are being abused to be sick. Time for a suggestion to the sister to get some help so that she can take care of herself around his abusive behavior. Very sad.

  2. Oh God....I would still love him but he would have to go. It sounds like he has some significant mental health issues. She needs to be writing all these episodes down and not hesitate to call the police for help getting him out if she needs it. Poor thing.

  3. It sounds like he has a huge issue with authority, and feels that other people should clean up after him. And your sister probably has done that for all these years. Drugs make you mentally ill, though the addict in my life never stooped that low. Now that he is clean, he said he is so ashamed of his past behavior and can not believe how disrespectful he had become to his father and me. She needs to get him the hell out of there!

  4. Functional? No way, he can't even use the bathroom functionally.