Follow by Email


Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Learning to Drive at 55

     I am officially taking driving lessons. My husband can't see as well as he used to but we have to take more trips into the city than before. These trips are mostly for Dr. visits but there is a whole world of entertainment there as well that we do not tap into very often.

I gave up driving in the city years ago because it makes me nervous. I have poor depth perception and that has certainly added to the angst. When people ask me what I mean by poor depth perception, I say that it looks like the oncoming cars are going to hit me. LOL, I almost did not learn how to drive. At one point my Dad refused to drive me anymore. I think I was actually 18 at the time. He said that no matter what the problem I either had to learn or move to the city as public transportation was nonexistent. That is when I called and paid for action driving school. It worked to the extent that for the last 37 years my record has been unmarred.

So, now I want to regain my ability to drive on major highways. No matter what happens I know that I can get better and it will earn me a discount on my car insurance. Wish me luck on this. I am feeling the fear but doing it anyway.

Thanks for all of your encouragement lately. That old saying that you are only as happy as your least happy child can really haunt me. Beth is always just a sigh away but it would be a shame to ruin the rest of my life by only dwelling on her situation. She and her life will always be a part of mine and yet I do not want misfortune to define me. I am grateful that you encourage me to take whatever happiness I can still find.


  1. The firs time I heard in Alanon that I could learn to be happy and functioning, even thriving, despite what my daughter's life looked like.....I was astonished. It had truly never occurred to me that it was ok for me to be alright, even if she wasn't. It felt callous for a long time, but I'm getting to used to it. ;o)

    As to driving....this must feel to you, kind of like what going to meet Miss Cutie Pie felt to me. But it will all work out. You will be fine. We always strong women!

  2. Too funny. My aunt in Canada didn't learn to drive till she was 60. She scares me, the way she sloowww, it's almost dangerous. My grandmother (in Germany) took the test three times, and failed all of them! She was in her 70's when she began. The last time she failed she tried to bribe the examiner! I come from a long line of strong (and slightly eccentric) women...;)

    There was a time when I designated "Andrew worry time", just so I could function. I would worry about him for a specified 5 minutes. I'd imagine all sorts of horrible scenarios, I would cry, etc. Then I'd put it away for the rest of the day (of course, it was in the shadows of my mind, but not at the forefront). It was a way to manage the intrusive thoughts and sadness.

  3. Driving will give you a feeling of freedom. I think it's great.

    We all worry about our children, especially when we know they are self-destructing. Like Lou stated, I think about my older son for a few minutes each day and than I go on. I simply don't believe that God intended me to be miserable every waking moment of my life.

    Always take care of you first and foremost or you won't be any good for the people that love you. Drive on sister!

    1. True, Driving is like feeling Free. Making driving Safer is the first thing comes in my mind always for me and for my wife, she is 57 and still a very good driver. But sometimes i do scared me of that she's driving at this age.
      All i want to say Drive Safer and Live Longer.

  4. It’s definitely smart of you to re-learn how to drive; so, how was it? No matter how much experience you had, you are still prone to lapses if you stopped driving (in your case, you stopped driving in the city and in highways). I also like that you were aiming for an insurance discount. That’s a great motivator! I hope you’re having a fine experience, Anna. :)

  5. “ Wish me luck on this. I am feeling the fear but doing it anyway. ” - You are not alone with this fear, and I speak not only in matter of driving, but on all aspect of life. Fear is what paralyzes us from taking a step towards to our goal. I'm hoping you'll overcome yours. Best of luck! Mia