My son moved out yesterday. I miss him already but it was time for life to teach him what I could not.
He left under very good terms all things considered. We did have some words last week over the fact that he will not make an effort to find a full time job. He works quite a few hours at the local Best Buy but they have not made him full time though he does good work for them.
He has problems with Attention Deficit Disorder and an inability to understand abstract reasoning. He sees the world as Black and White. Eventhough we know he has challenges, it becomes an issue when he is now 25 years old without health insurance. He says it is his right to live the way he wants.
Basically, I said that yes he does have that right but that it seems to me I am somehow failing him by letting him stay here and not see how life really works. I told him I did not want hard feelings and was willing to subsidize the remainder of his car insurance for this year. We also offered to pay his upfront costs for moving in with some roomates but not to put the lease in our name.
I told him that I love him and we are family and I want him to come for Easter and stay in touch. He said that he was cool with it. He is going to a friend's house that looks reasonably healthy to me. The Mom was recently divorced and is holding on by a thread to her home so she needs a border. My son sees this as an opportunity to have more independence and help out his friends.
He took his bedroom furniture with him. I also mentioned that I can think of at least 20 jobs he could apply for that would give him a better living and feel pretty agreeable to him so if someday he wants my help with that or managing his money we can talk about. In the meantime, I am going to butt out of his business.
Wow, there are some big changes going on around here.
He left under very good terms all things considered. We did have some words last week over the fact that he will not make an effort to find a full time job. He works quite a few hours at the local Best Buy but they have not made him full time though he does good work for them.
He has problems with Attention Deficit Disorder and an inability to understand abstract reasoning. He sees the world as Black and White. Eventhough we know he has challenges, it becomes an issue when he is now 25 years old without health insurance. He says it is his right to live the way he wants.
Basically, I said that yes he does have that right but that it seems to me I am somehow failing him by letting him stay here and not see how life really works. I told him I did not want hard feelings and was willing to subsidize the remainder of his car insurance for this year. We also offered to pay his upfront costs for moving in with some roomates but not to put the lease in our name.
I told him that I love him and we are family and I want him to come for Easter and stay in touch. He said that he was cool with it. He is going to a friend's house that looks reasonably healthy to me. The Mom was recently divorced and is holding on by a thread to her home so she needs a border. My son sees this as an opportunity to have more independence and help out his friends.
He took his bedroom furniture with him. I also mentioned that I can think of at least 20 jobs he could apply for that would give him a better living and feel pretty agreeable to him so if someday he wants my help with that or managing his money we can talk about. In the meantime, I am going to butt out of his business.
Wow, there are some big changes going on around here.
Empty nest?
ReplyDeleteNot sure, I can't remember if you still have another daughter at home...
Dad and I are LOVIN' the quiet..don't miss the "kids" at all.
It sounds good to me, Anna. Perhaps he will be more motivated to get another job, etc. now.
ReplyDelete