She did not come home last night. Called me at 5 in the morning claiming to have fallen asleep. Arrived home at 10:OO am and had a fit when I gave her a couple of chores. It did not look like she had slept. She arrogant and hostile. I said we would need to start drug testing immediately. She said that she would fail. She used coke last night but it was the first time. No big deal really.
Given how she has been picking fights with me, staying up all night and sleeping all day, I do not think it is the firs time.It hit me like a brick in the head. I cried for about one and a half hours and then went to sleep for the next three with an extreme headache and acid reflux. Hope can be the enemy. Hope leads to expectations which leads to this sort of crash.
We will see what happens next. We did not really intend to live with her. We were going to set her up in an apartment and follow through on the SSI. She did well at first while she could still remember missing us. As time went on, she just used us more and more and appreciated us less and less. She is personally miserable and abusive to those around her most of the time. It is not that she hits or even name calls. She just reacts with seething hostility and disparaging looks, slammed doors and a constant black cloud. Our house is no longer a comfort zone. We are once again trying to avoid it. Not a good situation!
On Being Afraid
1 month ago