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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Good News Bad News

I took Beth to the orthopedist today. He said that she could quit wearing her body brace and go to physical therapy. She threw the perscription in the trash and stormed out because she did not get pain meds. I do not understand or necessarily believe that her bones have healed correctly. She was frequently taking the brace off and walking around without it.

She spent the entire 4 hours we were together insisting that I let her buy a car. When I left her off she said F--- You and gave my car a pretty hard kick. Then she called me on the phone threatening to kill herself. After that came a texted apology for kicking the car.

I basically let her abuse me for FOUR  hours just to get her to the doctor to see if those bones were healing. I should be happy that they are because if not she would have needed a spinal fusion. At the very end I sort of lost it . She wanted me to take her back into the drug area. I told her that I was not anxious to take her back down there to her moral and physical distruction. I even offered to buy her the damn car if she would go to rehab for 90 days. NO GO  She claims to be stuck out in the country with no transportation but that is not true. She refuses to take the bus for disabled people which is available for her. She just has to call ahead.

I have never in my life seen someone as miserable and unwilling as she is to do anything to help herself.   I know this is emotional blackmail. I fear this is damaging my own health. I have an appointment to get an endoscope to check for an ulcer. How much more do I owe her?   I am depleted and defeated.  She is sick but she is also emotionally abusive.                     God Help HER and God Help ME TOO! 


  1. There comes a point when one can't take it anymore. For me that point has always been disrespect and being called names. I don't know why..that bothers me more than anything else. I just won't tolerate it. Anna, quit answering your phone. Take a long Beth break.

  2. Don't let her do this to you. CUT HER OFF. LET HER GO. There is nothing you can do until she decides to help herself. Protect yourself. She deserves NOTHING from you.

  3. I agree with Lou, you need a break from this. Easier said than done, because you will wonder how she is and what's she's up to...But, she's proved to be very resourceful over the years and always seems to manage to get by one way or another. You are going to get sick for sure if you keep letting her do this to you. Disrespect is something that is a choice, not necessarily an addict characteristic. Shoot, I don't know what to say - I just hate it that someone as sweet and kind and wonderful as you has to go through this. I hate it that any of us have to go through it.

  4. I know that when my son calls, I will answer. I have to keep believing or I will die.

  5. When my son was about 15 we were driving down a very busy street in the middle of rush hour. He got mad at me and hit my dashboard a couple of times and jumped out of the car while I was moving. He rolled in the street and I still can't believe he didn't get hit. He was flipping me off and screaming so I took off and went home. I had totally forgotten about that and for some reason Beth kicking your car made me think of it. He had never done anything like that before and although I was shocked I didn't think it would happen again. Yet years later I was still taking some form of abuse from him. When it got so bad that not even I his mother could handle I stopped talking to him or answering his calls last year. It only lasted about 7 or so days and I felt horrible not taking his calls but I needed the break even though it was a very small one. Maybe you can take a small break to start and not listen to her messages and delete any texts from her before you read them. It was so hard for me to do but I simply couldn't be verbally abused anymore. Please take a break even if it is two days to start. I am so sorry for your pain.

  6. Why do you feel that you "owe" her anything? Even if that was how it worked, I would think you have more than paid your debt. Just so you know....I have had dr visits like that too. I couldn't drop my girl off fast enough. I was drained physically and emotionally. I agree with everyone else.....take a break.