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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Monday, February 22, 2010

moved in with 3 girls

DH got a phone call from Beth. She had moved in with 3 other girls. They are letting her stay till the end of the month for free. At that time she will owe 350.00.  The people in recovery really help each other out!  I can only hope that this is her situation. Time will tell.

I know that she might need the actual on the streets homeless experience to get free but I am still relieved to know she has a roof over her head. I also know that the actual on the streets homeless experience might kill her. At this point, the drugs are much more dangerous to her. She is pretty savvy on how to surivive. She once told me that when she was out on a mission ( multiple days of using ) she would just walk into the ymca looking like she belonged to get a shower. She has also sold her blood and promised her boyfriend's car to a drug dealer to support her habit.

The devil is in the details. It is the details that haunt me. I have seen things and heard things that no mother should. If your child is an addict I am sure that you have too. Right now, she claims to be clean and be attending and outpatient program. There is no evidence that this is true.

As time goes by in this 90 day break from talking to her personally. I find that I am less obsessive about her. I have stopped looking for treatment centers. Though I have done so much research that I can find a treatment center at any cost in any part of the country withing 24 to 48 hours. The last time I did this was on Thanksgiving day.  I am willing to share this info with any of you when and if you want it. It really did my daughter's situation no good. It might have done harm because she knows full well that I can get her in fast and comfortably. How desparate is that?

I have done this over and over thinking maybe this is real. Maybe this time she means it and the last horrible thing that happened was bottom. Every time I talk to her I hear about things that would have been bottom for me or anyone else I have ever talked to.

Thanks for being here for me. It does help to get these torments off my chest.


  1. I had to smile about knowing all the treatment centers..although, it is not funny.

    I know now many of the treatment centers that come up when you type various key words into a search engine are all about money. They don't have any kind of program that they can prove results for. We sent our son to a couple programs (slow learners;), that were basically mini vacations. He may (or may not) have been clean while he was there, but as soon as he got out it was back to the same old, same old. The best way to find out about treatment is to investigate the ones in your area by talking to parents and patients that have been through them. I don't know why we felt we had to fly our son all over the country for treatment.
    One of the most reputable in our state was only 1/2 hour away from our house!

  2. glad to hear you are hanging in there and allowing beth to solve this on her own. it is the right (although incredibly hard) move to make.

    yes, the streets could kill her, and yes, the drugs could kill her, but YOU aren't doing either one. she is.

    love and pray. thats about it for now.

  3. Anna, I can so relate to your story. I remember thinking my daughter had found her bottom and telling a neighbor that. She said, "we'll see." She was smarter than I was. My daughter had to go through more pain.

    I understand all to well what it's like to "do this over and over." Only God knows where the bottom is and what will make your daughter choose a different path. Meanwhile, I'll keep you both in my prayers.

  4. I understand how you would be glad she has a roof over her head - even thinking that maybe on the street homelessness would be her bottom - maybe it would/maybe it wouldn't - so I too would be glad she has a roof over her head.
    Something really jumped out at me in Fractalmom's comment, "allowing Beth to solve this on her own." I'm no "expert", but from everything I've learned I believe that's the best thing you can do.
    While you're taking a break from talking to her, here's a Bible verse that really helped me get through not talking to Heather:
    2 Chronicles 20 (especially verse 15).
    God bless.

  5. I hope you are taking care of you! My prayers are with you and Beth!

  6. I know what you mean about knowing things no mother should know! I really wish I could erase some of those hideous things, hard to believe what they will do.

    I am glad she has a roof over her head right now. I HOPE THIS TIME IS IT FOR HER. It sounds like you are taking care of you and making progress in worrying less, that's a big step so give yourself credit.

    Praying for and thinking of you and Beth.

  7. It is amazing how not living with our addicts gives us a breather to figure out how to manage our own lives. Take good good care of YOU. You deserve it and she can take care of is actually empowering for her to figure some of this out on her own. Hard to let go for us mom's, but its really the only way.