DH got a phone call from Beth. She had moved in with 3 other girls. They are letting her stay till the end of the month for free. At that time she will owe 350.00. The people in recovery really help each other out! I can only hope that this is her situation. Time will tell.
I know that she might need the actual on the streets homeless experience to get free but I am still relieved to know she has a roof over her head. I also know that the actual on the streets homeless experience might kill her. At this point, the drugs are much more dangerous to her. She is pretty savvy on how to surivive. She once told me that when she was out on a mission ( multiple days of using ) she would just walk into the ymca looking like she belonged to get a shower. She has also sold her blood and promised her boyfriend's car to a drug dealer to support her habit.
The devil is in the details. It is the details that haunt me. I have seen things and heard things that no mother should. If your child is an addict I am sure that you have too. Right now, she claims to be clean and be attending and outpatient program. There is no evidence that this is true.
As time goes by in this 90 day break from talking to her personally. I find that I am less obsessive about her. I have stopped looking for treatment centers. Though I have done so much research that I can find a treatment center at any cost in any part of the country withing 24 to 48 hours. The last time I did this was on Thanksgiving day. I am willing to share this info with any of you when and if you want it. It really did my daughter's situation no good. It might have done harm because she knows full well that I can get her in fast and comfortably. How desparate is that?
I have done this over and over thinking maybe this is real. Maybe this time she means it and the last horrible thing that happened was bottom. Every time I talk to her I hear about things that would have been bottom for me or anyone else I have ever talked to.
Thanks for being here for me. It does help to get these torments off my chest.
On Being Afraid
1 month ago