I was blessed to have all my children with me today. We had a low keyed get together at my mother-in laws house. It was just pizza, salad and strawberry short cake. Nana was in great shape. She wore a bright pink jacket and sat in her big easy chair like a queen!
Beth came for a little while. She stayed about an hour. She was withdrawn and had a haunted disconnected look about her. This happens when there are too many people moving and talking around her. It looks like fear to me but she says it is not fear. She just feels uncomfortable. She needs breaks in these situations or she will hyperventilate.
After she left, there were questions about is she ok? Is she on drugs? I said, no. I don't think so. This is how she acts and feels when she is not on drugs. Thank you for being patient with her. She does much better with one or two people at a time.
Anyhow, she said goodbye to everyone and left early mentioning that she had a headache. I found her at home watching a particularly gory horror movie. I was glad she was home. It occurred to me that she might be struggling with drug cravings so I was relieved to find her home.
She said, it was the best I could do MOM. I said, "it was ok Beth, you sat with your Nana, you said a few words to everyone. It is ok to make an appearance and then go home. It is much better to be a little part than no part at all of a family gathering."
On Being Afraid
1 month ago