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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Rock Bottom or.........

Tuesday Morning:  Beth is helicoptered to the trauma center. She has crushed down they call them compression fractures 6 thorasic vertabrae. I missed the part about her splitting the pole in two, rolling over the car and climbing out the window because it was on fire. ( I guess she said that when I was throwing up and crying.) She was flat on her back, writhing in pain and having difficulty breathing but still talking and crying. " I am so sorry. Thank you for coming. I am so so sorry." she kept saying.

Tuesday night:  We went home and tried to figure out how to make our house handicapped accessable, how to get a hospital bed and what other equipment we would need for her recovery. My husband, daughter and I were by her side most of the day. When we left, her friend Mike got there by bus. He had to borrow the money for bus fare and had none left over to eat but he was there.

Wed:  My sister and I arrive at the hospital in the morning to find that Beth has given the nurses a hard time during the night. She could not urinate and they would not bring her a catheter so she screamed and threw the bed pan. Finally a nurse brought a temporary catheter and helped her urinate. The next time she had to go no one came and she got out of bed on her own. They were very upset that she had done that and they told me she would be discharged in a few minutes. They also told me she was a heroine addict.

I asked to see the social worker and the patient advocate. I also asked for a psych eval for Beth. The pshychiatrist told me that she had offered Beth 3 to 5 days in the psychiatric drug rehab and Beth refused. The social worker never came and we were denied access to Beth's records. She could not walk safely on her own so I did not see how I could take her home. I wanted a few more days in the hospital or a physical rehab. The nurses thought that she would be fine once they snapped on her body cast but it looked gruesome to me. They threatened that if I did not take her home, they would discharge her to the homeless shelter.

I told Beth, that I did not believe they would really do such a thing but that if they did I would come and get her. I left to get away from the badgering.

Thursday:  I stayed away from the hospital all morning and went to see about the wrecked car. It looked apalling. The roof was caved in. The engine was in the passenger seat and the front hood was basically gone.

The social worker talked to me on the phone and said that yesterday should not have happened. She would arrange for whatever physical therapy thought was appropriate including rehab or home health care and durable equipmnent.

My husband and I went to see her at about 6:30 pm.  Just before we got there we got a phone call from Mike. He said she had been to physical therapy once and was able to take baby steps with a body cast and a walker. He said they were going to discharge her now. He had helped her dress. The nurses had told her to be ready. What?

When we entered the room, Beth was sitting up on the side of the bed with the walker in front of her. She had a glint in her eye and looked exited. She said she was ready to go home to her apartment. She wanted to try it on her own and she was going to ride there with her friend John. ( older, polite man who works as a janitor and lives in his daughter's basement.} I looked at Mike who had been with her the whole time and promised to help take care of her. He was visibly shaken and saying but you need help.

Beth said, " I am going hom with John. Then, John walked in and I left with my husband and Mike. My head was spinning and I was astounded. Mike said as we got in the elevator.....I know that old guy. She wants to go with him cause he will buy her drugs. He won't stay to help her. I will help her anyway when he is gone.

Rock Bottom for the whole family. We thought this was a terrible accident but a golden opportunity to nurse her back to life and keep her away from drugs. She had other plans. Amazing, sad and true.

Wednesday morning: 


  1. This is so terrible for you to have to witness this. Our addicts are stubborn and it's their way or the highway. This reminds me of the time my daughter was in jail for 4 months and I visited her every week (noone else did) and looked forward to picking her up on her relase date. The day before she informed me that her boyfriend's mom would pick her up and that I did not need to bother. I delivered her clothes all washed and folded in a suitcase to her at the local mall and did not see her after that for weeks. I know now that it was because she would see her boyfriend faster. He also is a drug addcit. I can understand your bewilderment and disappointment. I have (sort of) been there too.

  2. oh Anna, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sad that you and your family have to go through this.

  3. {{Hugs}}} I know you are in shock. Understandably. I think this may be YOUR rock bottom. I'm so sorry.

  4. I'm sorry Anna. I hate that you're going through this. It's so much for you, would be for anyone.

  5. This is really more than anyon, especially family, should have to go through. I am praying for you tonight.

  6. I am so, so sorry to hear this. She doesn't sound like she is in any condition to have been released. There really are no words.....I am praying for your family.

  7. I'm shocked and dismayed. By what happened at the hospital, and by Beth's decisions. There really are no have done everything truly is out of your hands.

  8. ((((Anna)))) I am so sorry. Everyone said everything above. I have no words, except know that my heart is breaking for you.

  9. I really don't know what to say that would be all that comforting. You are a good mom, you have done your best. I am sorry Beth continues to make bad choices but they are hers to make and that is the saddest part of it all. I am so sorry, Anna.

  10. It is sad but she isn't really in her right mind due to her addiction. I hope that you will get some help for yourself during this terrible time.