Follow by Email


Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Bipolar Disorder

FYI:   Sixty percent of people with bipolar disorder are too sick to work because of their illness.

            It is just like arthritis or heart disease in that some people live quite normal lives with it while others are very debilitated. I got this information from medical research reviewed by Amador who is a psychiatrist who works extensively on chronic and severe mental illness.

Sixty percent seems like a lot to me and that is without the complication of addiction.  If you have bipolar and you are up and functioning that is great but many others are not that lucky. Do cancer survivors say " I survived cancer so if you do not then your mother is doing something wrong? "  


  1. I am feeling like this might be directed at my comment to your post about giving your daughter shelter and I definitely understand why you feel defensive of your situation. I thought about deleting my comment, not sure if it would be offensive, but I know I didn't mean it that way.

    I don't think there should be a comparison of a cancer survivor dying because of what her mother did, to an addicted person with a mental illness not surviving because of her mother's choices.

    Your daughter is not an addict or mentally ill because of you. It is however easier for her to continue self medicating and skip mental health treatment when she has extra resources from you.

    If loving her and giving her everything as a child was not what SHE needed to continue making responsible and healthy choices on into adulthood, then it should serve as proof that trying to give her those things now is not going to affect her choices.

    She has to want to come off the drugs and get better. She has to take steps, make hard choices, and commit to recovery.

    She may be severely mentally ill and I do not dispute that. I promise you that if she is resourceful enough to find a way to pay for heroin or cocaine, to actually score some, and to find a place to use it and continue in that existence, then she surely has the capability to go to rehab, or to seek out mental health treatment, but the problem is she doesn't want to.

    Of course you want her better and safe. Of course if she had cancer and was choosing heroin over chemo you would want her to go to chemo. If she doesn't want to, you can't make her and it wouldn't be any more your fault if she dies of cancer than if she overdoses.

    Now I know you may be thinking that if she had cancer and wasn't going to chemo and you knew she may ultimately die then you would want to make her comfortable until then. What if you knew that keeping her comfortable would dwindle away the chances of her EVER choosing to go to chemo. What is more important? Giving her a chance, keeping hope alive, or keeping you and her comfortable?

    You have to answer that for yourself. You know what you can do and can't and you have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday. Your choices will affect you both, but ultimately it is your responsibility to manage how you are affected and take care of you. It is her job to make her own choices now.

    Just because I am recovered and functioning now does not mean that it was always so pretty, but I am glad that ultimately I DIDN'T have someone to consider me worth damage control. I had to want to live, no one could want it for me. I hope I didn't offend you, but the truth can be painful.

  2. Anna? She's right. It hurts, but she is right.

    lots of love and hugs. I know how difficult this is for you because, well, all of us have faced the same or similar decisions. Go and read some of Lou's early posts. Her son is bi-polar as well. then read the last few posts. Hers was a decade long struggle too.

  3. Hugs.. every case is different. (hugs)

  4. No one can tell you how to handle your situation. Do the best you can, just try to have peace during the process!

  5. Anna - reading this post and the last, I have nothing to add but that I pray for Beth every day. I sound like a broken record when I reference the Bible 2 Chronicles 20:15.
    Sending love & (((hugs)))
    God bless.

  6. I hope that you will find some peace and happiness even in the midst of so much turmoil. It is possible.

  7. Anna, I am thinking about you. I left for vacation this week but when I got back I had you on my mind. I just want you to know that you are not forgotten and you are not alone. This is a very hard, painful journey. I am praying that you can find peace and confidence in your choices as being the best that you can make at each particular point. We don't have to have the answers or have it all figured out or know what the right thing to do is....we can do our best and trust our HP to make up where we lack.

  8. Just checking in and saying Hi! I am hoping that you've found some peace in your decision-making and that you feel better. This is, as Annette said, a hard, painful journey. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you!