Please tell me your experiences with trying to keep a roof over your addict's head. I am seriously contemplating putting my addict up in a rooming house. I do not think that it will cure her but I am not convinced that it will make her worse.
It might make me feel a little better to know where to look for her when I think she is dead. Years ago I thought that she would get better if I just took the hard line of no enabling. I did that and not just for a few days but for months and even years. After 5 or 6 rehabs she is no better. IN fact, she is much worse.
She will not pay her rent instead of taking drugs. She will definitely get her drugs first. Years ago, I decided that I would give the tough love, no enabling thing a chance but that if it did not work i would by her a trailer somewhere and let her just live her choices after that. Isn't that what we do when our loved ones are dying? Don't we make them as comfortable as possible? Anyhow, I am not suggesting the taj majal. Just shelter.
I would find a month to month lease in a very small, next to public transportation and work kind of place.It looks like it would cost about 5000 per year. I would never give her money. I would only pay the land lord.
Tell me how this went for you if you tried it. How was it better? How was it worse?
Please do not judge me too harshly. I am tired. I want some of my own life back.
The parents group for the National Alliance for the Mentally ill believes in choices and boundaries but they caution against putting a mentally ill person on the street if there is any way around it. They say that this leads to death, victimization of the mentally ill, attacks on others by the mentally ill and much sufferring on the families of the mentally ill. My daughter is mentally ill. She was born that way. I saw it long before she got into drugs. Now she is a drug addict as well. It looks hopeless to me and I am pretty much ready to take the harm reduction path.
If putting your kid out would scare them into behaving in the course of six months to a year then they are not as far gone or crazy as my kid. I live in fear. She loves to take risks. It is part of her bipolar disorder. I just want to lessen the drama even though it will cost me financially. I would rather work another 5 years than endure her homelessness. I would not even consider this if I thought she had any chance of recovery other than a miracle.
On Being Afraid
1 month ago