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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Not using her phone

No word from Beth for two weeks tomorrow. DH checked the cell phone minutes and she does not appear to be using the phone. She is probably on one of her missions. The phone goes when she is on a bender. We have no address for her and now no phone either. She calls this a mission.

At what point should I call the police?  What can I say to them anyhow? Can you find my daughter the heroine addict that is not allowed to live in my house?

The funny thing is that I used to pace the floor waiting for my kids or husband to come home. I would make myself wait until they were 15 minutes late. Then, I would pace and worry. The cell phone helped a lot because I could call.


  1. You have to figure out a way to be OK before she's OK. Stomp on the fear that allows drugs to not only take out your daughter, but take you out too. Stand up to that powerful force with the same strength you pray your daughter will use one day.

  2. I second what Madison said...and third...and fourth!

  3. Oh gosh, I used to pace all night. I'd force myself to sit down but that would only last for a minute or less then back to pacing OR I'd drive around looking for him. Obviously none of this does a bit of good. I'm she's out on a mission (if she is). Keven would call it that too. Sad, a mission, it sounds like a positive term.

    I am hoping and praying the best for Beth. I hope she calls you. I hope you can stop pacing and worrying and focus on the positives in your life (so much easier said than done....)

  4. I'm sorry that you haven't heard from her. But there is really nothing that you can do except pray for her. I hope that you will be able to give her to God for safe keeping. I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. I hope that I would have faith and courage to change those things that I can.

  5. Well, these words of wisdom have helped some. Madison's comment made me realize that I have to have courage. A coward dies a thousand deaths and I have been acting like a coward.

    I made the decision that I will most likely have to deal with her death in my life time so I might as well deal with it once instead of over and over again.

    I am getting a hold of myself. Also I need to think that she has done this before for many reasons. She does it on purpose to soften us up by making us suffer. She does it when she is happy with a new boyfriend or adventure. She also does it when she is in the hospital or some other crises.

    There are only two reasons that she calls regularly. They are to get money if she is using or to stay in contact on the few short lived occasions when she has tried to get clean for awhile.

    I think when she talks to me even when I do not give in she senses that I am worried. That worry gives her hope that the next time she will get me to send money. My husband does not act like he is worried even when he is. Therefore she will call less as money is not forthcoming.

    I also have to realize that young people of this age do not like to check in. They want to feel independent.

  6. I agree with Anna. All of us face the thought that our child will die. Face it now, and you become free.

    there is no comfort out there to give you. it is what it is.

    she will call when she calls. until then, get in touch with your life and live it.

  7. Dear Anna,

    I feel for you. I also have no way to reach my daughter. I used to react the same way. In Al-Anon, I've learned to "let go and let God." It's not easy and it takes time. But I found approaching it indirectly helped most. For me, that meant working my program, minding my business. Love and hugs to you.