The temperature here was about 98 and humid for the third or fourth day in a row. When I got up last night at 4:00 am to find Beth smoking on the porch, it was still hot! S he said the dog woke her up. She had not fed him until late and consequently he had to be let out in the middle of the night.
I heard her running down the stairs and that is why I got up. Anyhow, today we went in for her blood work ordered by the neurologist first thing. She gave me a real hard time about getting up. She kept falling back to sleep. The seroquel she takes really knocks her out till about 10:00 am. I had asked her to take it earlier in the evening so this would not happen but she never did until 11 pm. Between the seroquel and the lack of sleep she was very tense and complained about everything. Finally, I told her "I am tired too. You woke me at 4 in the morning. I am doing you a favor, taking the day off work to take you all the places you need to go but instead of thanks I just hear complaints." She said, " I am just tired." I let it go. In the past I would have insisted on an apology and really expected her to get it. Now, I just know this is how she acts when she is tired and nervous. Still, after about the 10th or 11th complaint I have to speak up. The shrinks call this behavior negative persistence.
Anyhow, we did the blood work and then proceeded to social services to sign up for food stamps. Then, across the county and over to the Social Security office to do the final paper work for her SSI and SSD. The subtract one from the other. They also subtract anything we might give her towards food and shelter as income.
Things got a little hairy when she realized that she does not have free access to any money. I must account for every penny to the government showing that it is used on food, shelter, medical expenses and other necessities. I thought she was going to walk out in a huff eventhough this was never a secret and the attorney had discussed it with her before.
Fortunately the case worker was very calm and explained to her how she could change this over the course of time with responsible behavior and her doctor's endorsement.
They told me at U of P that an addict in recovery should not have free access to money for about 2 years. I still believe it. Although I did give her 100 dollars just recently to go grocery shopping for us. She went with someone I trust. They came right back and they brought me a reciept. She was quite happy with this. She did not see my behavior as suspicious. She saw it has adding back a little trust with back up proof.
Thanks for keeping us in your prayers. I am exhausted and intend to turn in early tonight.
On Being Afraid
1 month ago