After three very intense days on the couch and seething mad most of the time, Beth seems a lot better. She is riding her bike, talking a little, making good sense and attending to her hygiene. It seems to have taken three whole days of taking the meds as perscribed.
The Doctor was just about to give her another antipsychotic and then she started getting better. I finally asked her tonight why she was not taking her meds regularly. She has skipped nine doses. She said that it was not 9 in a row but that she would forget if she slept at her girlfriends or if she did not put the meds on the table.
I went through this with my son with ADD. He really wanted to take his meds when he was younger. There was no coercion involved but he would sometimes forget. The very frustrating thing (really it is logical if you think about it) was that if he forgot once, he would be much more likely to forget again. The medication itself helped his memory. Without it, he was much more likely to forget.
Soo, I will lay it out for her on her table each night. After awhile if she seems more stable I will put it in one of those day by day containers. With her, it is even more critical. I notice that if she forgets for a couple of days then she does not even want to take it. We have learned that it is best not to even try talking to her when she is off meds.
I so want to keep her home and just watch her 24/7. If only, she would submit to such treatment we could give her the gift of 6 months or so clean under our care but she is very sensitive to be controlled. Even as a child she was very sensitive to being controlled. She would obey but she would seethe with resentment unless you could explain to her why. I am sure that being raped was an even greater trauma for this girl who values her own free spirit so much. I admired this trait in her. I thought it would serve her well.
Josh is working a double shift tonight and Dave is sick again. First his back for weeks at a time and now he seems to have the flu. Joy and I just got done looking a bunch of pictures of my husband and I from high school. We were all hippied out with love beads and bell bottoms! Those were the days that we were out to change the world!
On Being Afraid
1 month ago