I was advised that at the levels my daughter was using heroine that she should be observed taking her suboxone for the first few weeks. I watch her take one dose. Her friend watches her take one at noon and she takes her own dose in the middle of the night. Overall she looks pretty good and is trying to keep busy.
Without my alanon experiences I would have insisted that she stay here so I could see the 2 am dose. Or I would have called or who knows what. I was very upset on her third day when I saw her looking very groggy. That is when I called Tom from recovery helpdesk. He said that an observed dose is typical at this stage and that she might even be still using some but that it is likely to resolve if she has the dicipline to keep up the suboxone. ( Well, that is quite a concept!) Actually I have a girlfriend from rehab that told me her daughter tried suboxone several times but that she finally got off heroine when she was willing to come home and have her Mom give her all her doses. I give her exactly the right amount each day. So, she could be diverting one dose but not all three. I will tell you how it goes.
Also, she had cut back from 10 bags of heroine per day to 5 before doing the detox. I saw her during the detox and she looked pretty bad like she had a bad flu. She threw up some. Her muscles and bones hurt all over. She also was taking 50 mg of xanax every 4 hours to keep from screaming into the night. She procured those xanax on her own. The Dr. did not perscribe them. Incidentally, although I was certainly leary about this, I do know that they give the addicts xanax and a lot more when they detox at a medical facility. She knows it too as she has done it about 8 times.
I went to an alanon meeting tonight. I have not been there in several months and the meeting has gotten much smaller. I wonder what happened. It has been a great meeting for the last 5 years. tYou may wonder how I go along with suboxone and alanon. Well, modern alanon and aa is supposed to allow any drugs taken as perscribed by a Dr. That being said, I have tried the tough love approach and the AA approach and the alanon approach each for long periods of time and got no more than 6 weeks of sobriety. This latest harm reduction, keep my detachment with love but assist in recover as much as I can approach has yielded 9 months clean with a recent relapse.
I do not kid myself though. She stopped herself but she was just lucky not to be arrested. I hope that she did not share needles or put her health at risk in other ways but she probably does not even know all that she did. I actually wanted her to go on methadone or preferably a rehab followed by methadone.The longest periods of sobriety that I have seen in heroine addicts have come from methodone or total aa dedication. Her bipolar disorder does not lend itself to group sharing and participation. That is a fact.
I am not advocating this path but people should know that it exists and many have found sobriety or a law abiding relatively productive life in this way. At this point, I would be very happy with a safe, law abiding, relatively productive life for my daughter.
On Being Afraid
1 month ago