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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Choice or Disease

 How do you know when the addict does something because of her choice and when they do it because of the disease? 

After dealing with numerous treatment centers I figured it out!

When the addict does something to hurt me the counselor says it is the disease.  When the addict does something to hurt or make the counselor look bad then it is her choice.

Watch and see if this is true in your life too!


  1. Actually, research shows addiction is a disorder. Sorry you are having such a difficult time with the counselor. I am a counselor so if the counselor "looks bad" than I would have to question the counselor. Not all counselors are experienced enough or educated enough to deal with all issues. Sad but true.

  2. The counselor that our daughter has is pretty fair to call things what they are, caused by both a disorder and a choice. Unfortunately , when our dd is unstable, what looks like her making bad choices is really caused by her defective brain making those choices for her. When she is stable, it is much easier to address her volitional actions as true choices.

  3. The nightmare doesn't end when the doors to rehab open.

  4. A diseased brain often leads to bad choices. That doesn't mean they are not choices. Knowing my daughter has a disease allows me to look past her choices and love the woman. But I also know that the choices she makes are hers to make, whether I think they are right or wrong. And she is the one who will have to live with the consequences. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  5. Oh sorry. i am firmly of the "addiction is a really bad lifestyle choice" camp. I don't believe it is a disease at all. It all ultimately comes down to choice. They chose to use in the first place. Stopping may be complicated by a chemical reaction in the brain that controls the addiction, but...

    well, anyway, my take on it is not popular anyway, so I will shut up LOL

  6. Like Fractalmom, I, too, get tired of the 'disease' excuse for the addict's behavior. We all make choices every day. My daughter has always taken the easy way out, never 'muscled' through any kind of pain, inconvenience,or difficult situation. Her heroin addiction almost seems like the logical conclusion to her inability to live an independent, responsible, adult life. This girl had every privilege and opportunity in life. It's such a waste.