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Welcome to my blog. I hope we can help each other endure the pain of the addiction of a daughter or son.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Dissapearing into the night

     Well, I felt so much more composed today. I was pleased to hear that the half-way house was drug testing Beth every day. They were taking her to a meeting on a bus every evening. They were getting her out of bed and to a motivation group each morning.

It actually sounds like a resonable program. It is much more structured than most Florida half way houses. Anyhow, I decided to call the director to find out where and how they draw the line if they take people back after relapse. He said they have a three strikes and your out policy. He said they then help the person into a different and even a state run free longer rehab. It sounded reasonable to me.

Apparentlly though not so reasonable for my daughter. She did not show up for group last night. She was seen around 9:30 pm . She did not answer her cell when they called. She rode her new scooter into the night and did not come back.

The director said he figured she had this planned out and had a place to go. He said that she arranged those drugs too fast after having been so incapacitated. We both figure that it was her second not her first use of drugs. The first one probably occured when she arrived late to the first half-way house. I told DH so he will not be fooled when she calls.

I assume she got a boyfriend to move in with.

Dear God,

Please help me detach with love or serenity instead of anger and frustration.
Please let her  find a purpose, a pleasure a passion that is not immoral and illegal.
I did my best but my best was just not good enough.
Now she has to do her best. Please let her come to her senses before she kills herself, someone else or gets an incurable disease.
Please accept my efforts to help others as a sacrifice for her health as nothing that I have done for her directly seems to have helped one little bit.
Please help me keep my faith. It is hard on me to live this life.

Please help me direct my efforts towards myself and the others in my family and friends that I have neglected for the past 8 years.


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