My husband's father died yesterday. He was very old and very sick. We thought we were ready but it has still been very sad. He always had our backs. He always did the right thing. We have lost a father, a friend and a great advocate for the entire family.
At about 1:00 am on the night after the day that he died, I got a call from the halfway house. They were expelling Beth because they can't tell weather or not she is using. They found her slurring her words, stagerring around, Her urininalysis tested positive for benzos which it always will on the initial screening.(She has a DR's note about this.) They took her to the hospital and they said her vital signs were normal. They wanted her out of there by the next morning. They said thay could not keep her if they could not verify her sobriety.
Her side is that she took her psych meds and they made her groggy with cotton mouth. They woke her up to test her and she was disoriented. When she gave the pee test she tripped on the rug and they called that staggering.
I did not tell her about the death. She knew it was imminent. The next halfway house took her in quite happily saying that her meds should have been cut in half after leaving the hospital. Of course, I lost the money from the first place and had to pay the second one all over again.
I have a lot of doubt about this second big irregularity since leaving treatment. However, I just did not have the strength to deal with this death and put her out on the street at the same time.
I have suffered so much when she is missing that I am not sure I can do it again under any circumstances. That is not good because if she knows it she is likely to exploit that as a weakness and to the max. She has also been victimized by others on the street so that is a very very last ditch measure which often results in death or injury fast.
I tried to keep this whole thing to myself because I did not want to burden my husband in his grief. In that I failed because I got nearly hysterical trying to make the decision about weather to tell her or not. I wanted to devote myself to my husband and his family today. I did some of that but at least half of my time and energy went to the addict once again.
On Being Afraid
1 month ago